Atlanta United at D.C. United: How to pretend like you know what you're talking about for Matchday 18

Screaming, crying, throwing up

Same as last time, y’all. We’re going to give you the tools to sound like the smartest person in the room in whatever room you happen to be watching the game. Whether that’s in the stadium. in your house, or in a chat room on the internet, we’re going to try and get you prepared. So get your mind right. This is more about you than it is about me. 

If Atlanta comes out and immediately starts pressing high up the field, you: Scream, cry, throw up.

The Five Stripes came out of the gate against Houston pushing high up the field and chasing the ball. They immediately got ripped apart and the Dynamo found chances on goal. It’s hard to be anti-effort, but this team doesn’t press effectively and gets punished nearly every time they do it, especially when they’re pressing in central areas of the pitch. When they’re actually recognizing pressing triggers on the wing and using the touchline to box folks in, it’s not so bad. When they’re chasing just to chase, it gets rough.  

So, of course, you might be wondering: Why did they come out of the gate pressing? Well…