Wooden Spoon race heats up as Atlanta United generate 0.07 xG in loss to LAFC
Spoon fever. Catch it.
If you thought 2025 Atlanta United had nothing left to play for and were just counting the matches until the offseason arrives, then you are sadly mistaken my friends.
The Five Stripes are suddenly in the thick of the Wooden Spoon race, just three points above LA Galaxy with two matches remaining.
Ronny Deila was brought in for his pedigree of winning things. He gave his team the best chance to walk away with a piece hardware thanks to a scintillating performance that saw Atlanta United amass just 0.07 expected goals in a 1-0 loss to LAFC on Sunday night.
When the stakes are this high, you simply cannot risk playing adventurous or daring soccer. An uber-pragmatic approach away from home to ensure the best result possible is the only choice.
Shots on goal? Who needs them. Fresh faces inserted into the lineup after seeing the same players over and over again? Keep dreaming. When there is a chance to win something, you must take every precaution available. Like Lonely Island sang, you only live once, take no risks that need not be taken.
As this team’s date with infamy awaits, we can only hope no one gets any wild ideas of trying something entertaining or exciting in these final two matches.
Rob, this might be some of your best work. Reads like an Onion article!
no rest until the cutlery is ours! time to pull out all the stops