Atlanta United’s Greatest Goals: The Thunderbastards

We start the definitive campaign to come to a consensus on Atlanta United’s greatest goals. We start with the long-range golazos.

via Atlanta United

Here at Five Stripe Final, we’ve been wondering for some time: “What’s the greatest goal in Atlanta United history?” Well, we’re gonna find an answer. Or rather, you will determine the answer. We’ll be collecting some of the best goals in Atlanta United history to be viewed here (these posts will be free for all) and then we’ll systematically pare them down by vote until we have a winner.

We have four planned categories of goals:

• Long range strikes

• Technical/team goals

• Nostalgia

• Goals against Orlando

Obviously many of these goals could fit multiple categories, so er urge you not to get too hung up on that aspect. So let’s get started, and today we reflect on the best ABSOLUTE PISS MISSILES (that’s a technical term). 

*Note: The goals seen here are not listed in any order. So make sure to give a mental evaluation from top to bottom.

** Second note: If I have overlooked a goal you believe should be in consideration, please link to it in the comments. Just know that there will be more goals to come (for example, you will see no goals scored against Orlando in this category).

Carlos Carmona vs. NYCFC (2017)

A beautiful full volley bangs off the post and in.

Tito Villalba vs. Montreal Impact (2017)

Twinkle toes Tito skins a defender and puts his foot through it.

Ezequiel Barco vs. D.C. United (2021)

I bet you forgot this banger.

Thiago Almada vs. FC Cincinnati (2022)

The deifnition of hitting it on the postage stamp.

Julian Gressel vs. Real Salt Lake (2018)

Julian Gressel is a bad man, and showed it with this sublime volleyed effort.

Thiago Almada vs. San Jose Earthquakes (2023)

Speaking of beautiful free kicks…

Ezequiel Barco vs. New England Revolution (2019)

Bend it like Barco.

Thiago Almada vs. Portland Timbers (2023)

Almada drops the Usher “watch this” meme.

Josef Martinez vs. Philadelphia Union (2019)

This is about as long of a range as it ever got for Josef. Left foot, full sprint, on a half-volley.

Emerson Hyndman vs. Nashville SC (2020)

Technique points here for Emo with the chest and volleyed strike. Dax McCarty absolutely seething.

Miguel Berry vs. New England Revolution (2023)

Something that makes me happy is knowing Miguel Berry will have this with him for the rest of his life.

Ezequiel Barco vs. Chicago (2021)

The definition of the ball having eyes for goal.

Thiago Almada vs. San Jose Earthquakes (2023)

No run-up necessary.

There you have it, folks.

Now, get ready to be a scrooge and vote against most/all of these soon enough, as there can only be one winner — and this is just the first category.

In fact, in this category we had too many nominees, so we need to pare this down to 8. Click the button below to cast your preliminary votes!

In the interest of getting as much fan input as possible, please share this post far and wide. Stay tuned for tomorrow where we introduce our next eight contenders for Atlanta United’s Greatest Goal from the Nostalgia quadrant.