AN ATLANTA UNITED BEATS INTER MIAMI JAMBOREEE

Whoo. Boy.

Atlanta United beat Inter Miami last night. I have so many thoughts that I couldn’t just pick one bit and stick to it. Try and keep up.

THE HOPE AIN’T GONNA KILL YA

Even if Atlanta United comes up short on Saturday night, it can’t hurt you. You’re invincible after last night. You can say that Miami are “frauds actually” and no one can question you. You can explain how Atlanta have actually been pretty good this whole time and just needed a few breaks a night at Mercedes-Benz Stadium with a little magic in it for the first time since 2019. That’s not all you wanted out of 2024, but it is all you could really ask for after things went off the rails this year.. 

You can also take solace in the fact that this is proof of concept for 2025. Not just in the sense that this team got to remember that “trying extremely hard = good” but in the sense that this city can still be on fire for Atlanta United. 69,000+ got into MBS last night and made that place so loud that the players couldn’t even hear the final whistle. It blew, a train horn went off, and Daniel Rios kept running with the ball at his feet for a considerable amount of time. 

You can think about what this will feel like again when it’s not just this team going on a Zaza Pachulia run against the top team in the East, but when this team is back on top itself. And you can maybe even wonder about what’s going to happen if Atlanta pulls of the road win of the MLS season in game three. 

No really, you can. It ain’t gonna hurt. If they come up short, so what? You already have all you need to be optimistic about 2025. And if they do happen to pull this off…well, you have plenty of reason to believe they can win another road game or three against teams that aren’t quite as scary on paper as Inter Miami. 

Now, you shouldn’t be optimistic. Hopeful and optimistic are two different things. But you should recognize that this has been special. And that may just mean even more moments like this are on the way again. When is the last time you felt that? The hope isn’t even going make a scratch on you. You’re just glad to see it again. 

AND NOW THIS…

WELCOME. TO. THE. 2024 ATLANTA UNITED SUP-SUP-SUUUPPPERRR COASTER. 

Oh, thanks man, we’ve been waiting in line a while and we’re really excI—

OF HOOOORRRRORRRRRRRR.

Of what?

ARE YOU READY FOR A DROP SO STEEP THE MANAGER GETS FIRED?

Whoa, wait, what, we thought this would be a gentler ride than th—

ARE YOU READY TO PLUNGE DEEP INTO “THE PIT OF ‘LOSING YOUR ONLY TWO TRUE DESIGNATED PLAYERS’”?

…

CAN YOU STAND THE HEAT IN THE KITCHEN WHERE WE’RE COOKING UP A TURN WHERE YOU’LL NEED A WIN AND SEVERAL OTHER RESULTS TO BREAK YOUR WAY ON DECISION DAY JUST TO FINISH IN NINTH PLACE?

Listen, man, we came here fully expecting to ride this thing into a home playoff spot. Thiago Almada! Giorgos Giakoumakis! A whole bunch of brand-new signings to help add onto the great post-Leagues Cup form of Tristan Muyumba and Xande Silva. You can’t just change all this once we’re getting on the ri—

Your best player is a left back from Portugal making $242,000 

The f***?

Carl Robinson is here too. 

I have no idea who that is. 

PREPARE YOURSELF FOR YET ANOTHER LEAGUES CUP GROUP STAGE EXIT.

Well, that’s kind of just assumed at this poi—

AND MULTIPLE LOSSES TO CF MONTRÉAL!!!

…Things have to be realistic to be scary. 

It’s totally real.

Seriously? 

Yeah, they finish ahead of you in the standings. 

I…would like to get off now.

OH BUT YOU CAN’T! SHIELD YOUR EYES FROM…..THE TECHNICAL DIRECTOR BEING FIRED MIDSEASON

Oh, well, yeah we’re actually cool with th—

You’re actually cool with that aren’t you…

Yeah, group consensus here, definitely cool with that.

Ok, look, we kind of ran out of budget at the end here, it’s just like inflation and…hold on, let’s try…

A WILD CARD ROUND GAME AGAINST THE DREADED CF MONTRÉAL IN WHICH JOSEF MARTÍNEZ SCORES TWICE TO COMPLETE A 2-0 COMEBACK

Well, that’s definitely bad but…

But what? Work with me here.

The whole “needing multiple results on Decision Day” section made it seem like we were going to miss the playoffs. Do they make the playoffs? 

Well yeah but you were really scared before th—

And you said Josef scores twice to complete a 2-0 comeback, right?

YEEEESSSSSSSS. A TEERRIFFFYYYYYING COMEBACK FROM 2-0 DOWN. 

So it could still just be 2-2, right? Does Atlanta win? 

Does….Atlanta……

Do they? 

…OK, yes, Atlanta wins on penalties, BUT…HerON we go to the most terrifying part of the ride…….A BEST OF THREE SERIES WITH INTER MIAMI. 

Yeah, no, I’m not scared of that.

You’re not sca….

Ok,  yeah, maybe they’re a little scary if Atlanta had to play them in an absurd scenario where they played like three games in six days, but otherwise, I don’t know, you can clearly see the xG overperformance holding it all together. Honestly, I’m having a great time at this point. Is that the end of the ride or is there more? 

It’s not totally clear. 

Well, guess I’ll come back soon. 

Wait! Aw man, come back! CARL ROBINSON!!

Still not totally sure who that is, but I’m cool with him if he beats Miami, ok bye, catch ya next week.

Pedro Amador: Hero

Seriously, how good is this dude? The ball he played into Derrick Williams on the first goal is as good as any I’ve seen in MLS from anyone not named Julian Gressel. I cannot and will not stop talking about what an absurdly good signing this man has been. If he hurts me the way Tristan Muyumba has, I will never recover. 

Xande Silva: Hero 

What an incredible moment for Xande, man. It feels like we were just watching him miss the easiest chance in MLS playoff history a year ago. In this moment, a year later, he hit the got dang ball as clean as he possibly could. 

It’s a perfect moment for an imperfect player who’s had a less-than-ideal season. He’s lost his starting job while dealing with nagging injuries and deflated confidence. He’s clearly still talented enough to be a contributor on this team and I’m hopeful an offseason of rest will do him a lot of good. 

And even if he’s not on this team next year, we’ll always have one perfect strike. Not many players get that in their career. 

Derrick Williams: Hero

An MLS journeyman who we didn’t think would be a starter this year became a mainstay from game one on. The 31-year-old made 26 starts this season—the most of his MLS career—and has routinely been a solid, comforting presence in Atlanta’s back line. Scoring his second-ever MLS goal like that is a deserved reward for one of 2024s most under-appreciated figures. 

Atlanta crowd: Hero 

Did I mention the players didn’t even hear the final whistle? 

Rob Valentino: Hero

Look, I don’t think this is a scenario where Atlanta is playing their way into Rob winning the job. Talk to me after the Eastern Conference Final I guess. 

But still. The job he’s done in a near-impossible situation can’t be overstated. The whole thing could have completely collapsed and instead it stayed upright long enough to give us last night. I don’t know how much of an impact I’m willing to attribute to him specifically, but I know he’s a good person who’s carried himself with grace through a difficult situation twice now. He may not have worked his way into the Atlanta job, but someone, somewhere is going to come calling based on what this team has been able to accomplish down the stretch. Wherever he goes, it will be a well-deserved opportunity.

I mean, just look at Tata here. Tata knows how impressive this all is. Has there ever been a prouder dad?

Atlanta United social team: Hero

Lol

Dax McCarty: Hero

So, like, game three? 

There’s a chance. 

It’s clear to anyone who’s been watching that Atlanta, for whatever reason, matches up well with Miami. It’s clear to anyone who’s been watching that Atlanta, for whatever reason, has stumbled into a ton of confidence and determination. It’s clear to anyone who’s been watching that the universe has decided to finally send a few breaks their way. They can win this. 

Now, let’s be honest. Road games, against any team, are hard. They’ll be fighting a steep uphill battle. Plus, Sergio Busquets may just be back in the fold by Saturday. That’s another boost for Inter Miami. They’re going to be favored and that just is what is. Atlanta is going to have to do all the things that underdogs do to pull out a win.

But they clearly know the formula by now. They’re well-practiced at making Inter Miami uncomfortable. And, in the end, it’s one game. You just need a couple of things to go your way and all of a sudden you’ve taken down the most-known team in MLS history. 

I wouldn’t bet against Messi and company. I just wouldn’t. But I’m sure as hell not betting against Atlanta United right now either. 

Quote of the night

“I don't want to put the cart before the horse because the job is not done, right, but we've had that mentality for a long time. Maybe we were warranted to have those percentages and the probabilities, but I just have a belief that people can change that. The numbers, they help you to find some things, like find predictions and maybe help Vegas in terms of their gambling odds and things like that, but people can end up changing that quickly.

I don't know, it has been a mentality that we've tried to adopt and keep pushing forward, but like I said, the job is not done. But I'm really proud of what this team has shown.” - Rob Valentino

Second Quote of the Night

“Listen, I told Saba if we win the whole thing I'll come back for sure…” - Dax McCarty

Third Quote of the Night

Atlanta United midfielder Xande Silva on if he knew when he hit the ball if it was a goal: “Yeah, maybe.”

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